Arkansas Woman Changes National Policy By Calling People Racist

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Garland County, AR

The national policy on illegal immigration has taken a shocking turn to allow anyone who is not caucasian unrestricted entry to the United States. President Trump along with Senators Bernie Sanders (D-Connecticut) and Ted Cruz (R-Texas) held a joint press conference to announce the change. President Trump stated, “Sometimes we have to realize that we are not always right. I have implemented and enforced policies that President Obama had in hope that it would score some points with Democrats. And believe me, that was not the case. We noticed a Garland County, Arkansas woman called me racist. That’s when I knew it was time for a change. People have mixed emotions over it, but its a huge change that will have massive effects on our great nation- that I can tell you. It’s just exciting.”

When pressed for the name of the Arkansas woman Senator Sanders spoke up. “She is a terrific internet warrior named Ms. R. Acism. And I apologize ahead of time if by calling her ‘Ms.” I have assumed a gender for her, by which she has not chosen for herself. Or himself. Or itself. Geez this is confusing.”

Senator Cruz added, “We are reaching out to her to see if she would accept a position on a new committee over race relations and law.”

Former mayor of Hot Springs, Arkansas- the Garland County seat- Ruth Carney reached out to our office with a statement about R. Acism. “She’s absolutely amazing. Once, there were a few potholes on her street. There was a delay getting them fixed due to scheduling. She sent in a letter to the street department stating that everyone there was a racist, and she got exactly what she wanted. We are so blessed to have her in our community. Everyone here enjoys being called racist, so we do whatever she wishes. At times, we question whether or not she has a brain because of some of her ideas. However, racist is the magic word that gets all of the city officials on her side.”

At Arkansas119 News, we are thrilled that one of our own citizens had such an impact.