Morgan Promises Dentures for Residents of Mountain Pine

Mountain Pine – Jan Morgan, the republican gubernatorial candidate who is running on a platform of, “A gun for everyone that isn’t a Muslim”, held a rally at the Mountain Pine community dental office on Monday.

The Morgan campaign has had a tough time reaching quite a few arkansans and the residents of Mtn. Pine fall into that tough to reach category. Since Weyerhaeuser pulled out of the small town, the town has fallen apart. There are no jobs, the roads are deteriorating and the residents just don’t want to support a candidate from outside of their township. Morgan is looking to change that.

Since Morgan lives just outside of Mountain Pine, the residents there drive by her home any time they “come into town” (hot springs). “There is a lot of resentment” Morgan said, referring to the residents of the township. “They don’t have all of their teeth, so when they see my smile, they get upset.” Morgan went on to say, “I am going to try to change things. I am going to buy dentures for everyone from Mountain Pine that votes for me!”

“This strategy just may work” said the mayor of Mtn. Pine, Jethro Butyliquor. “I think these here people could use them dentures.” He said following the rally. One local woman who is 8th generation Mountain Pinean said, “Ain’t no one never done nothing this good for us before” She pledged her support to Morgan and vowed to get all of her family to vote for Morgan as well.

Early voting has started throughout the state. In just a few short weeks, we will know if Morgan’s strategy has paid off.

We will bring you more on this story as election results come in.